Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Beware of Pity (Stefan Zweig)

  • There are two kinds of pity. One, the weak and sentimental kind, which is really no more than the heart's impatience to be rid as quickly as possible of the painful emotion aroused by the sight of another's unhappiness, that pity which is not compassion, but only an instinctive desire to fortify one's own soul agains the sufferings of another; and the other, the only one at counts, the unsentimental but creative kind, which knows what it is about and is determined to hold out, in patience and forbearance, to the very limit of its strength and even beyond.
  • The instinct for self-deception in human beings makes them try to banish from their minds dangers of which at bottom they are perfectly aware by declaring them non-existent.
  • On the whole, more men had perhaps escaped into the war than from it.
  • It always demands a far greater degree of courage for an individual to oppose an organized movement than to let himself be carried along with the stream — individual courage, that is, a variety of courage that is dying out in these times of progressive organization and mechanization. During the war practically the only courage I ran across was mass courage, the courage that comes of being one of a herd, and anyone who examines this phenomenon more closely will find it to be compounded of some very strange elements: a great deal of vanity, a great deal of fear — yes, fear of staying behind, fear of being sneered at fear of independent action, and fear, above all, of taking up a stand against the mass enthusiasm of one's fellows.
  • Everywhere soldiering entails the same busily empty monotony; hour after hour is mapped out in accordance with inflexible, antediluvian regulations, and even one's leisure does not seem to offer much in the way of variety. In the officers' mess the same faces, the same conversation; at the cafe the same games of cards and billiards.
  • It is never until one realizes that one means something to others that one feels there is any point or purpose in one's own existence.
  • Inevitably, in the secret chemistry of the emotions the feeling of pity for a sick person is imperceptibly bound up with tenderness.
  • Unhappiness makes people vulnerable, incessant suffering unjust. Just as in the relations between a creditor and a debtor there is always an element of the disagreeable that can never be overcome, for the very reason that the one is irrevocably committed to the role of giver and the other to that of receiver, so in a sick person a latent feeling of resentment at every obvious sign of consideration is always ready to burst forth.
  • In some mysterious way, once one has gained an insight into human nature, that insight grows from day to day, and he to whom it has given to experience vicariously even one single form of earthly suffering acquires, by reason of this tragic lesson, an understanding of all its forms, even those most foreign to him, and apparently abnormal.
  • Long-protracted suffering is apt to exhaust not only the invalid, but the compassion of others; violent emotions cannot be prolonged endlessly.
  • But it is the way of youth that each fresh piece of knowledge of life should go to its head, and that once uplifted by an emotion it can never have enough of it.
  • And I said to myself: From now on help anyone and everyone so far as it lies within your power. Cease to be apathetic, indifferent! Exalt yourself by devoting yourself to others, enrich yourself by making everyone's destiny your own, by enduring and understanding every facet of human suffering through your pity. And my heart, astonished at its own workings, quivered with gratitude to the sick girl whom I had hurt unwittingly and who, through her suffering, had taught me the creative magic of pity.
  • One's emotional state is always determined by the oddest and most accidental things, and it is precisely the most superficial factors that often fortify or diminish our courage.
  • The avaricious are thrifty with time as well as money.
  • No envy is more mean than that of small-minded beings when they see a neighbor lifted, as though borne aloft by angels, out of the dull drudgery of their common existence; petty spirits are more ready to forgive a prince the most fabulous wealth than a fellow-sufferer beneath the same yoke the smallest degree of freedom.
  • The union of opposites, in so far as they are really complementary, always results in the most perfect harmony; and the seemingly incongruous is often the most natural.
  • When one does another person an injustice, in some mysterious way it does one good to discover (or to persuade oneself) that the injured party has also behaved badly or unfairly in some little matter or other; it is always a relief to the conscience if one can apportion some measure of guilt to the person one has betrayed.
  • It is a blessing not yet to have acquired that over-keen, diagnostic, misanthropic eye, and to be able to look at people and things trustfully when one first sees them.
  • A doctor should never try to cure the incurable.
  • It is only at first that pity, like morphine, is a solace to the invalid, a remedy, a drug, but unless you know the correct dosage and when to stop, it becomes a virulent poison. The first few injections do good, they soothe, they deaden the pain. But the devil of it is that the organism, the body, just like the soul, has an uncanny capacity for adaptation. Just as the nervous system cries out for more and more morphine, so do the emotions cry out for more and more pity, in the end more than one can give. Inevitably there comes a moment when one has to say 'no', and then one must not mind the other person's hating one more for this ultimate refusal than if one had never helped him at all. Yes, my dear Lieutenant, one has got to keep one's pity properly in check, or it does far more harm than any amount of indifference — we doctors know that, and so do judges and myrmidons of the law and pawn-brokers; if they were all to give way to their pity, this world of ours would stand still - a dangerous thing pity, a dangerous thing!
  • There is nothing that so raises a young man's self-esteem, that so contributes to the formation of his character as for him to find himself unexpectedly confronted with a task which he has to accomplish entirely on his own initiative and by his own efforts.
  • Anger makes one not only malign but sharp-sighted.
  • The sight of a wedding always has a disturbing effect on young girls; at such moments a mysterious sense of solidarity with their own sex takes possession of them.
  • After experiencing profound emotions, one sleeps profoundly.
  • States of profound happiness, like all other forms of intoxication, are apt to befuddle the wits; intense enjoyment of the present always makes one forget the past.
  • When a dozen men are harnessed to the same cart, one always pulls harder than the others, and when it's a question of promotion and seniority, it's easy to tread on the toes of the man ahead of you. At every word one utters one has to be on one's guard; one's never quite sure whether it isn't going to arouse the disapproval of the big bugs; there's always a storm in the offing.
  • The word 'service' comes from serving, and serving means being dependent.
  • He who is himself crossed in love is able from time to time to master his passion, for he is not the creature but the creator of his own misery; and if a lover is unable to control his passion, he at least knows that he is himself to blame for his sufferings. But he who is loved without reciprocating that love is lost beyond redemption, for it is not in his power to set a limit to that other's passion, to keep it within bounds, and the strongest will is reduced to impotence in the face of another's desire. Perhaps only a man can realize to the full the tragedy of such an undesired relationships; for him alone the necessity to resist t is at once martyrdom and guilt. For when a woman resists an unwelcome passion, she is obeying to the full the law of her sex; the initial gesture of refusal is, so to speak, a primordial instinct in every female, and even if she rejects the most ardent passion she cannot be called inhuman. But how disastrous it is when fate upsets the balance, when a woman so far overcomes her natural modesty as to disclose her passion to a man, when, without the certainty of its being reciprocated, she offers her love, and he, the wooed, remains cold and on the defensive! An insoluble tangle this, always; for not to return a woman's love is to shatter her pride, to violate her modesty. The man who rejects a woman's advances is bound to wound her in her noblest feelings. In vain, then, all the tenderness with which he extricates himself, useless all his polite, evasive phrases, insulting all his offers of mere friendship, once she has revealed her weakness! His resistance inevitably becomes cruelty, and in rejecting a woman's love he takes a load of guild upon his conscience, guiltless though he may be. Abominable fetters that can never be cast off! Only a moment ago you felt free, you belonged to yourself and were in debt to no one, and now suddenly you find yourself pursued, hemmed in, prey and object of the unwelcome desires of another. Shaken to the depths of your soul, you know that day and night someone is waiting for you, thinking of you, longing and sighing for you - a woman, a stranger. She wants, she demands, she desires you with every fibre of her being, with her body, with her blood. She wants your hands, your hair, your lips, your manhood, your night and your day, your emotions, your senses, and all your thought and dreams. She wants to share everything with you, to take everything from you, and to draw it in with her breath. Henceforth, day and night, whether you are awake or asleep, there is somewhere in the world a being who is feverish and wakeful and who waits for you, and you are the centre of her waking and her dreaming. It is in vain that you try not to think of her, of her who thinks always of you, in vain that you seek to escape, for you no longer dwell in yourself, but in her. Of a sudden a stranger bears your image within her as though she were a moving mirror - no, not a mirror, for that merely drinks in your image when you offer yourself willingly to it, whereas she, the woman, this stranger who loves you, she has absorbed you into her very blood. She carries you always within her, carries you about with her, no mater whither you may flee. Always you are imprisoned, held prisoner, somewhere else, in some other person, no longer yourself, no longer free and lighthearted and guiltless, but always hunted, always under an obligation, always conscious of this "thinking-of-you" as if it were a steady devouring flame. Full of hate, full of fear, you have to endure this yearning on the part of another, who suffers on your account; and I now know that it is the most senseless, the most inescapable, affliction that can befall a man to be loved against his will - torment of torments, and a burden of guilt where there is no guilt.
  • If you are going to sell yourself, you should at least get a good price.
  • Why is it that the stupidest people are always the most good-natured?
  • Only a numskull is pleased at being a so-called 'success' with women, only a dunderhead is puffed up by it. A real man is much more likely to be dismayed at realizing that a woman has lost her heart to him when he can't reciprocate her feelings.
  • Everything in life that deviates from the straight and, so to speak, normal line, makes people first curious and then indignant.
  • People who are so much at the mercy of their moods should never be given serious responsibilities.
  • Those whom fate has dealt hard knocks remain vulnerable for ever afterwards.
  • One can run away from anything but oneself.
  • Was it not the most wonderful thing on earth to be able to help one's fellow-creatures? I now knew that it was the only thing that was worth while.
  • In my youth and comparative inexperience I had always regarded the yearning and pangs of love as the worst torture that could afflict the human heart. At this moment, however, I began to realize that there was another and perhaps grimmer torture than that of longing and desiring: that of being loved against one's will and of being unable to defend oneself against the urgency of another's passion; of seeing another human being seared by the flame of her desire and of having to look impotently, lacking the power, the capacity, the strength to pluck her from the flames. He who is himself crossed in love is able from time to time to master his passion, for he is not the creature but the creator of his own misery; and if a lover is unable to control his passim, he at least knows that he is himself to blame for his sufferings.
  • The feeling of self-assurance derived from physical achievement always transfers itself to the mental sphere.
  • A man of limited vision is hard to bear with in any sphere in which he is invested with power, but intolerable in the army.
  • A human being will accept the strictest disciplinary measures with a better grace if he knows that they will fall with equal severity on his neighbor. Justice in some mysterious way makes up for violence.
  • Our decisions are to a much greater extent dependent on our desire to conform to the standards of our class and environment than we are inclined to admit. A considerable proportion of our reasoning is merely an automatic function, so to speak, of influences and impressions which have become part of us, and anyone who has been brought up from childhood in the stern school of military discipline is particularly apt to succumb to the hypnotic and compulsive force exercised by an order of word of command; a force which is logically entirely incomprehensible and which irresistibly undermines his will. In the straitjacket of a uniform, even though fully aware of their absurdity, an officer will carry out his instructions lie a sleep-walker, unresistingly and almost unconsciously.
  • It is not the healthy, the confident, the proud, the joyous, the happy, that one must love - they have no need of one's love! Arrogant and indifferent, they accept love only as homage that is theirs to command, as their due. The devotion of another is to them a mere embellishment, an ornament for the hair, a bracelet on the arm, not the whole meaning and bliss of their lives. Only those with whom life has dealt hardly, the wretched, the slighted, the uncertain, the unlovely, the humiliated, could really be helped by love. He who devotes his life to them atones to them for what life has taken from them. They alone know how to love and be loved as one should love - gratefully and humbly.
  • The heart is able to bury deep and well what is urgently desires to forget.
  • No guilt is forgotten so long as the conscience still knows of it.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

小鱼核桃仁

做法:小火把核桃 仁炸香,捞出核桃仁,锅里留底油,大火爆香蒜蓉葱末,倒入小鱼干,转小火,翻炒两分钟,把炸好的核桃仁倒入锅中,翻炒均匀,撒入蒜盐,淮盐等你喜欢的粉状 调味料,翻炒均匀,再淋入枫叶糖浆或柿子糖浆或其他糖浆,翻炒均匀,最后淋几滴花椒油和香油(不要太多),出锅装盘,下酒,下饭,送粥,配馒头包子,大饼 都很棒。



香辣烤小鱼
咸干小鱼在烤箱里烤的。因为鱼很咸,所以先在冷水里泡了两个小时,然后尽 可能的淘尽碎末杂质,去掉头部,挑出小鱼来,用厨房纸搽干水份, 用一点油,干辣椒碎和一点白糖,生抽拌匀,均匀铺在烤盘上,进350度的烤箱烤至自己的口感要求。干香辣的小鱼配什么都好吃。

神奇的煮大蒜水



大概5.6个蒜瓣,用刀拍烂加几块冰糖一碗水,煮到水发白,小半碗就可以了,立竿见影喝了马上不咳嗽了,这个方法每次都管用。煮大蒜水要现煮现喝,效果是刚刚的!

咽痒咳嗽——奇验方——大蒜
        时下感冒咳嗽的病人很多,往往是咳嗽缠绵难愈,其特点是一痒则咳嗽。咽痒咳嗽是临床常见症状,在感冒前期或后期往往咽痛不明显,而咽痒明显,一痒即咳!在中医看来这是风邪未除的表现。
        中医所谓“温邪上受,首先犯肺”温邪就是南方常说的风热感冒,但是南方之人体质多虚,往往热不明显(咽痛不太厉害)夹风寒的较多,就是感冒往往是受 寒、吹风后所致,咽痛之时,多伴有咽痒的症候。大蒜色白入肺,性味辛温,最善除肺经之风邪。故治疗伴咽痒的咳嗽往往有奇效! 其用法如下,皆有所验,选一即可!

方法一:最简单的就是买剥一粒大蒜,含在口中,时轻咬一下,蒜味一出,慢慢咽下,一粒含一小时,咽痒立减,咳嗽可愈。

方法二:取大蒜十几瓣,捣成泥状放入杯中,加冰糖适量,用开水冲泡,温服当茶饮,每日1次,咳嗽严重者每日2次,此方具有快速止咳化痰的特效。

方法三:蒸 大蒜水:小孩咳喘时用大蒜2-3瓣,大人用7-8瓣,拍碎,放入碗中,要在碗上加盖,再放入锅里去蒸,大火烧开改小火15分钟,严重时可一日三次,可以不 吃大蒜只喝水。第二天再蒸蒜水时就要加冰糖了,小儿放一粒,大人放二粒,大蒜性温、入脾、胃、肺经,民间多用大蒜治疗咳嗽、气管炎、哮喘、肺结核。

方法四:大蒜加冰糖煮水喝。孩子感冒咳嗽,效果比打针吃药灵多了。方法用30克大蒜、10克冰糖加200毫升水,先用大火将水煮开,再用小火慢炖几分钟,最后熬成一小碗的量让孩子喝下去。孩子咳嗽厉害时,早、中、晚一天共喝3次,第二天就见效,3天后就好了。

方法五:煮生姜大蒜红糖水:如果咳喘严重,白色稀痰较多,说明受寒较重,在吃上面食疗方的同时,再加上生姜、大蒜、红糖煮的水一起吃。小儿可用生姜3片、大蒜3瓣、红糖半勺,成人用生姜7-8片、大蒜7-8瓣,红糖一勺,放入锅中加水,中火烧10分钟即可,严重时可一日三次。

方法六:取 三四头大蒜,去皮后,把蒜瓣切成一个个薄片。晚上睡前将切片的蒜瓣排着放在火炉的四周边沿上烤,第二天一早,蒜片就基本烤干、烤黄了,但注意不要烤成焦黑 的。然后把烤干的蒜片用擀面杖给擀碎成末,越碎越好。挖上一汤匙蒜末倒入茶杯中,再适当加上一点红糖,倒入开水,搅拌均匀,喝下。一天喝一两茶杯,连喝了 两三天,咳嗽就好了。

方法七:将大蒜 瓣 捣成糊状,装入一个空药瓶内,把瓶口对准鼻口,尽量吸嗅大蒜辛辣的味道,可视病情每天嗅闻4-5次。蒜的辛辣味变淡后可换新的蒜泥,使用的瓶不可太大,以 对准两鼻孔大小为宜。另外,也可将数枚大蒜去外皮洗净,放入盛好蜂蜜的大瓶中,盖好盖后浸泡一周左右,取出食用。

方法八:蒜敷脚心治咳嗽,大蒜敷脚心对付上火、咳嗽的方法。每晚睡觉前,洗干净脚后,把大蒜切成薄片敷在脚心涌泉穴位上(位置在脚跟向上1/3脚掌处);然后取医用胶布贴牢。因大蒜对皮肤有刺激,贴的时间不宜过长,所以最好早晨起床时就将其去掉。
        这种方法对咳嗽、流鼻血及便秘都有一定疗效,连续敷7天~10天,效果会更好。可能有少数人脚心敷蒜处会起水疱,建议此时暂停敷贴,待水疱破后皮肤复原再敷贴,这样一般就不会再起.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

绿豆糕的做法

绿豆糕 I

绿豆糕

材料

去皮绿豆200克,白糖100克,油10克,麦芽糖20克,红豆沙适量

 
做法
1.绿豆浸泡一夜后蒸熟稍凉用搅拌机打成泥, 加糖再搅匀后取出放油和麦芽糖拌成团,分成20个左右包入豆沙.
2.用月饼模压实.做好后放入烧开水的蒸锅小火蒸4—5分钟(这一步是为了消毒,如果你认为足够卫生可以不蒸).
3.凉后放入冰箱冷藏.

绿豆糕 II

1.去皮绿豆提前一天浸泡上锅蒸至可以用手轻易捏碎的程度,趁热用勺子压成泥状

2.炒锅中放入麻油把绿豆泥放入用小火拌炒均匀
3.放入细砂糖和麦芽糖继续小火拌炒

4.要不停的拌炒,以防烧焦锅底, 最后将绿豆泥炒成一个不粘锅的团状,放凉即可
5.将绿豆泥分成9-10等份搓圆,包在里面的豆沙馅也搓成圆形备用

6.像包汤圆一样把豆沙馅包入绿豆泥中
7.用模具压出花纹(没有模具不玩造型也没关系,反正是自己吃,风味是一样滴)
8.做好的绿豆糕密封放入冰箱,冷藏之后的风味更佳 

鲜贝菜谱

家常海鲜煲

材料
草鱼,鲜贝,,腐竹

步骤

1. 首先把材料清洗干净备用
2. 将2瓣蒜头把腐竹爆香,再放点水,把它放进小锅里待用。
3. 再两片姜鱼块煎一下,半生熟放进腐竹里面!
4. 把鲜贝和虾(预先把虾过一下油)一齐放进小锅里!全部材料已经放齐后,放点盐、蚝油、糖、酱油,盖上盖闷8分钟,直到鲜贝和鱼熟透后。生粉酱油打个芡放上香葱和香菜

香芒炒带子

材料

芒果3个,鲜带子100克,黄瓜丁25克,姜片10克,姜汁料酒水淀粉香油胡椒粉、白糖、盐、淀粉各适量。  

做法
1、芒果洗净,对半剖开,去皮去核,起肉,切成带子般大小,放入热水里浸片刻,捞出。
2、带子洗净,用姜汁、料酒、香油、胡椒粉、白糖、淀粉拌匀,腌约15分钟,入沸水中汆烫后沥干。
3、锅置火上,放油烧热,下姜片、黄瓜丁炒香,再放入芒果、带子,加盐炒几下,用水淀粉勾芡即可。

宫保带子

材料

带子250克,葱段1根,姜末25克,蒜末25克,干辣椒段4根,去皮蒜花生50克,沙拉油20㏄,1.盐1/4小匙,糖1/4小匙,太白粉1茶匙,蛋白1/3颗,米酒少许,2.酱油1茶匙,味精1/4茶匙,糖2茶匙,镇江香醋1茶匙,太白粉1/2茶匙

做法
1.将带子洗净用厨纸吸干水份,加入调味料1后一起搅拌均匀腌渍备用。
2.将调味料2的酱油、味精、糖、香醋及太白粉一起调匀兑成汁备用。
3.将作法1的带子以开水煮约一分钟后熄火泡约3分钟(视大小而定)再捞起、沥干备用。
4.热锅,倒入沙拉油,转小火放入干辣椒炒约半分钟,再加入姜末、葱段、蒜末一起爆至香味溢出。
5.于作法4锅内放入作法3的带子及作法2的兑汁转中火一起快炒约1分钟后放入蒜花生拌炒均匀即可

油爆带子

材料

鲜带子250克,红辣椒1只切幼粒,芹菜2条去叶切碎,蒜茸l茶匙,姜切幼粒1/2茶匙,熟冬菇3只切幼粒, 胡椒粉少许,生粉适量,醋l茶匙,酒1茶匙,用蚝油l茶匙、浅色酱油1茶匙、香油、胡椒粉少许、深色酱油1/2茶匙、上汤或水1/3杯和生粉l茶匙(如用 急冻带子,加入鸡粉1/2茶匙)做成芡汁。

做法

①带子洗净,抹干。如带子太厚,可以1只切为2件。加胡椒粉、生粉腌15分钟。
②水3杯烧滚,下醋1茶匙,放下带子煮30秒钟,立即捞起抹干水,泡油。
③下油1汤匙,爆姜,放入带子,下酒炒匀上碟。再下油1汤匙,爆炒红辣椒、蒜茸、冬菇、芹菜,加入芡汁煮滚,淋在带子上。可用炸虾片或生菜切丝伴边。

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Homemade snack bars

Oatmeal-raisin Snack Bars

Ingredients
  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 2 cups uncooked old fashioned or quick-cooking oats
  • 1 tsp. baking soda
  • 1/2 tsp. salt
  • 1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
  • 1 cup I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!® Spread
  • 1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
  • 3/4 cup granulated sugar
  • 1 tsp. vanilla extract
  • 2 large eggs
  • 2 cups raisins
Preparation
  1. Preheat oven to 350°. Spray 13 x 9-inch baking pan with nonstick cooking spray; set aside.
  2. Combine flour, oats, baking soda, salt and cinnamon in medium bowl; set aside.
  3. Beat I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!® Spread with sugars in large bowl with electric mixer on low speed until creamy. Beat in eggs and vanilla until blended. Gradually beat in flour mixture on slow speed just until blended. Stir in raisins. Evenly spread into prepared pan.
  4. Bake 35 minutes or until toothpick inserted 1-inch from edge comes out clean. Cool completely on wire rack. Cut into 32 bars.

Oatmeal Banana Breakfast Bars

20111229-wakeandbake-oatmealbananabars.JPG 
Ingredients
  • 2 cups old fashioned oats
  • 1 cup sweetned coconut flakes
  • 1/2 cup chopped walnuts
  • 1/2 cup chopped dried apricots
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 cup light brown sugar
  • 2 very ripe medium bananas, mashed (about 3/4 cup)
  • 3 tablespoons butter, melted
Procedures
  1. Preheat oven to 375°F. Grease a 8-inch square baking pan.
  2. In a large bowl, stir together oats, coconut, walnuts, apricots, and salt.
  3. In a medium bowl, mix together mashed bananas, sugar, and melted butter until combined.
  4. Add banana mixture to oats and stir until evenly incorporated. Spread mixture into baking dish.
  5. Bake until bars are golden brown, about 25 minutes. Let cool, then cut into squares.
     

    Everything Breakfast Bar

     Everything Breakfast Bar
    Ingredients:
    • 4 cups oatmeal
    • 1 tablespoon baking powder
    • 1 teaspoon salt
    • 1 tablespoon cinnamon
    • 2 eggs, beaten
    • 1 cup pumpkin
    • 1 cup milk
    • 1 tablespoon maple syrup
    • 1 cup Splenda sugar substitute
    • 1/2 cup brown sugar, packed
    • 1 tablespoon vanilla
    • 1 cup raisins
    Directions:
    1. Preheat oven to 325°F.
    2. In large bowl combine oatmeal, baking powder, salt and cinnamon.
    3. Mix in remaining ingredients.
    4. Spread in greased 9x13 pan.
    5. Bake for 40 minutes.

    Granola Bars

    Granola Bars

    Ingredients:
    4 cups oatmeal
    2 cups flour
    1 cup coconut
    1/4 cup sugar
    2 teaspoons baking soda
    1/2 teaspoon salt
    3/4 cup vegetable oil
    3/4 cup honey
    raisins, chocolate chips, Craisins (or whatever you prefer to add)
    Directions:
    1. Mix dry ingredients together well.
    2. Add oil and honey.
    3. Mix well. Get your fingers in there and mix it until all is blended and sticky feeling. If you don't, they will turn out crumbly.
    4. Add raisins and whatever else you enjoy.
    5. Firmly press into jelly roll pan (12 x 15 inch).
    6.  Bake 15 to 20 minutes at 375°F They will look puffy and soft when you take them out.
    7. Don't wait until they are brown or they will be very hard.
    8. Cut into squares while still warm.

    Granola Bars with Almonds and Dates

    Ingredients
    1/2 cup (1 stick) melted butter or coconut oil
    1/2 cup honey (or maple syrup)

    4 cups uncooked oats
    1 cup chopped almonds
    1 cup chopped dates
    1 tsp cinnamon
    3 eggs

    Directions: 
     1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
    2. Grease 9×13 pan with coconut oil or butter.
    3. Whisk and blend the melted butter and honey together.
    4. Dribble the liquid mixture into an already tossed oats, almonds, dates and cinnamon.
    5. Beat the eggs and then stir them into the oaty

    6. Press wet granola into your greased pan.  the easiest way to accomplish this uniformly, was to use the bottom of a measuring cup.  
    7.Bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes.

     

    Ingredients:
    • 2 cups gluten free rolled oats
    • 1 cup sliced almonds
    • 1 cup unsweetened shredded coconut, loosely packed
    • 1/2 cup flaxseed meal
    • 2/3 cup honey
    • 1 1/2 teaspoons gluten free vanilla extract
    • 1/4 teaspoon salt
    • 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon (optional)
    • 1/2 cup chopped dried apricots
    • 1/2 cup dried cranberries
    • 1/2 cup raisins
    • Enough oil to line baking dish
    Directions:

    1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
    2. Coat an 8 by 12-inch baking dish with oil and line it with parchment paper. 
    3. Toss the oatmeal, almonds, and coconut together on a sheet pan and bake for 10 to 12 minutes, stirring occasionally, until lightly browned. 
    4. Transfer the mixture to a large mixing bowl and stir in the flaxseed meal. 
    5. Reduce the oven temperature to 300 degrees F.
    6. Add honey, vanilla, cinnamon, and salt to the mixture while it is still warm.
    7. Add the dates, apricots, and cranberries to the coated mixture and stir. 
    8. Pour the mixture into the prepared pan. Press the mixture evenly into the pan.
    9. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, until light golden brown. 
    10. Cool for at least 2 to 3 hours before cutting into squares. Serve at room temperature.

    Freezing Directions:
    After cutting into bars, wrap with plastic wrap. Put wrapped bars into gallon sized freezer bag, seal and freeze.

    Healthy Granola Bar I

    Ingredients
    • 1 c. butter, softened
    • 1 c. honey
    • 4 1/2 c. rolled oats
    • 1 ½ c. whole wheat or spelt flour
    • 1 tsp. vanilla
    • 1 tsp. baking soda
    • mini semi-sweet chocolate chips
    • chopped walnuts
    • dried fruit
    • sunflower seeds
    • coconut
    • other nuts…
    Directions:
    1. Lightly butter a 9”×13” glass pan. In a large mixing bowl, cream butter, honey, and vanilla. 
    2. Add the oats, flour, and baking soda. Beat well until combined. Stir in add-ins by hand. Press mixture hard into pan.
    3. Bake at 325 degrees F for 15-22 minutes until just golden brown on the edges.
    4. Allow to cool for at least 10 minutes before cutting into bars. Let bars cool completely in pan before removing and serving. Store at room temperature or freeze.
    Notes
    Stickier, Chewier Granola Bars: The one drawback of this original recipe is that it tends to be a bit crumbly, especially if you overbake the bars even slightly. You can avoid that by melting the butter, honey and vanilla in a saucepan and cooking on low for 5 minutes after the butter melts, then mixing the liquid ingredients into the dry.

    Healthy Granola Bar II

    Ingredients

    • 2/3 cup almond butter (or peanut butter)
    • 2/3 cup virgin coconut oil
    • 2/3 cup honey (raw is best)
    • 2 cup oats (gluten-free if desired)
    • 2 cups total of any add-ins you’d like (such as chopped nuts, dried fruit, dark chocolate bits, coconut flakes, sesame seeds, pumpkin seeds, etc). I use my large 4-cup measuring cup and just dump in ingredients until it’s at 2 cups.
    Directions:
    • Mix almond butter, coconut oil and honey together in a small pot and warm until everything is melted. Stir together. 
    • Add oats. Add the rest and stir until well combined. (If using chocolate chips be sure to cool the honey mixture completely before adding the extras or else the chocolate chips will all melt).
    • Press into an 9×13 pan  and refrigerate until firm. 
    • Cut into bars, wrap individually, and store in the fridge.

    Healthy Granola Bar III

     Ingredients:
    • 1 Cup Unsweetened Organic Coconut
    • 1 Large Banana (Extra Ripe)
    • 1 Cup Whole Grain Oats 
    • 1 Tbsp Organic Vanilla Extract 
    • 1/2 Cup Ground Flax Seed 
    • 1/4 Cup Unsweetened Almond Milk
    • 2 Tbsp Mini Vegan Chocolate Chips 
    • 1 Packet Truvia (Your Choice Of Sweetener)
     
     Directions:
    1. Add banana,coconut, flax seed, vanilla, oats and Truvia to electric mixer and mix on low speed.
    2. Add unsweetened almond milk 1 tbsp at a time slowly increasing the mixer’s speed. 
    3. Preheat oven to 350
    4. Grease a baking sheet with olive oil cooking spray.
    5. Pour granola mixture onto baking sheet and spread out into a square shape with a spatula.
    6. Try to spread and flatten the mixture evenly as possible without puncturing the shape. 
    7. Evenly distribute the mini chocolate chips on the granola and lightly press them down.
    8. Bake 11-13 minutes or until the edges are lightly brown.
    9. Before the granola starts to harden take a knife and cut the square into 8 even rectangles.

      Healthy Granola Bar IV

       Recipe for healthy granola bars

       Directions: 

      1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Line the bottom of a 8×8 inch pan with parchment paper, and coat with coconut oil. Set aside.
      2. In a small cup combine the flax meal and water. Whisk with a fork and set aside to thicken.
      3. In a small saucepan, over low heat, combine the coconut oil, maple syrup, almond butter and almond extract. Stir occasionally and remove from heat when melted. Allow to cool, about 10 minutes.
      4. Add the thickened flax meal to the saucepan and mix to combine.
      5. In a medium bowl, combine the seeds, nuts, coconut and chocolate chips. Pour the almond butter mixture in and mix well. Press the mixture into the prepared pan.
      6. Bake for 25-35 minutes, until golden and bubbly. Remove from oven and allow to cool in the pan for 15 minutes.
      7. Once cooled, loosen the sides with a knife, then invert onto a cutting board. Remove the parchment paper by peeling off carefully. Place the entire cutting board into the fridge for 15 minutes — this is an important step that will ensure that your bars harden completely and do not crumble. After 15 minutes, remove from fridge and cut into 20 bars. Store in an airtight container in the fridge

    apricot pecan granola bars

    Ingredients
    • 2.5 cups old-fashioned rolled oats (not instant)
    • 1/4 cup peanut butter
    • 1 large mashed banana
    • 1 cup chopped toasted pecans
    • 1/3 cup chopped apricots
    • 1/3 cup raisins
    • 2/3 cup maple syrup
    • 1 tsp cinnamon
    Instructions
    1. Preheat over to 325 degrees and toast the pecans for 10-11 minutes on a small baking sheet. Meanwhile, prepare the granola batter. In a large bowl, mix together the mashed banana and peanut butter. Add maple syrup and cinnamon and whisk until combined.
    2. Stir in the oats, making sure that all of the oats are moistened. Add more maple syrup or peanut butter if needed. (note: the less “wet” ingredients you add, the crunchier your bars will be)
    3. Remove toasted pecans from oven and stir into the oat mixture. Add raisins and chopped apricots.
    4. Press mixture into 8×8 baking pan, making sure it is evenly distributed and tightly packed.
    5. Bake for 25 minutes. Cool for at least 1 hour before cutting into squares.


Saturday, July 6, 2013

笑话集锦






 
1.有一天,老师出上联说:国兴旺,家兴旺,国家兴旺。某同学说:你妈的,他妈的,你他妈的。后来被家长领回家了。
 
2. 有一学生说:“老师,我想拉屎!”
老师:“说话要文明!”
学生沉默一会说:“老师,我屁股想吐!”
 
3, 某寝室一奇葩,中午放了个屁,随口一句:“大家闻闻什么东西糊了?”于是大家猛闻。

4、同事QQ空间设了密码,问题:我最怕什么?我回答:老婆。叮咚,进去了。

5、“你知道什么是生死之交吗?” “不就是奸尸嘛,你说的那么文雅干嘛?”

6、金融学校入学考试,其中一道题是:请写出三种能够贷款的机构。一位考生的答案是:银行,信用社,父母。
 
7, 一 漂亮女子穿迷你超短裙在公车上遇一流氓。流氓说:“小姐,让我看看你的大腿!给你50元。”女子说:“这样吧,先给我100元,等公共汽车到了站,我让你 看看我生过小孩的地方。”流氓高兴地不得了。等公共汽车到了站,她朝着路边的医院指着说:“你看,那就是我生过孩子的地方!
 
8, 二奶:我是真心爱你的。
大款:你的话后面少了一个“钱”字。

9、
请你相信我的话,
这绝对不是谎言,
我对你是真心的,
只是你还不了解,
一个深爱你的人,
明白爱你有多难,
但痴心一生不变。   ——请看每行的第二个字。
 
10.男:你为什么看上我啊?
女:因为你长得帅啊。
男:帅又不能当饭吃。
女:但是不帅的话,对着会吃不下饭

11、
问:你幸福吗?
答:我姓福。
问:为什么幸福?
答:因为我爸姓福。
问:为什么你爸幸福你就幸福呢?
答:因为..我是亲生的。
 
12,老婆要买iphone5。我看了看她大着肚子说:老婆为了下一代,咱攒点钱,不买iohone5了好吗?
老婆说:好吧,那下一代什么时候上市啊?
 
13,男人二十是“朝阳”,三十是“正大”,到了四十就开始“微软”,五十简直就成了“松下”,六十以后就只能“联想”了。
 
14,一天晚上,一个歹徒闯入一户人家,晃着手中的刀子对男主人说:“你要敢喊,我就给你点颜色看。”
他妻子忙说:“他色盲,什么颜色也看不清。”
 
15,有位朋友充手机话费时,说错手机最后一位号,替别人交了100元话费,有点心疼,就打过去电话:能不能给充点回来?80、50元都可以。电话那边的哥们特郁闷地说:兄弟,我都不知道怎么说你才好,年底了,全是要帐的,我好不容易把机停了,你又给我充上了。
 
16.苹果说:我像人的心
芒果说:我像人的胃
葡萄说:我像人的眼睛
香蕉说:尼玛,我讨厌这个游戏
 
17.高中时,同桌爱放屁 ,
有次,一股恶臭飘过,“你是不是又放毒气了?”
前桌的美女回头说:他的不是这个味。
 
18. 试卷上的化学题:A和B可以相互转化,B可以在沸水中生成C,C在空气中氧化成D,D有臭鸡蛋味。问A、B、C、D各是什么?

某同学答:“A是鸡,B是生鸡蛋,C是熟鸡蛋,D是臭鸡蛋。

19.
我感冒了,老婆说:“去医院查查,再配点药” 
儿子说:“吃肯德基吧” 
“胡扯,那玩意有抗生素”
“那不刚好,即吃饱肚子,又治疗感冒”
 
20.朋友炫耀自己多小就开始有男生送花,几岁谈了几个朋友等等。
楼主没什么可说,但小学一年级刚入学便有两位学长为了我打架。
就在校门前,一个认为我是女的,一个认为我是男的,打得天翻地覆……
 
21.年终奖发少了,要记得灌老板酒哦,然后要记得让他自己开车回去哦,为了他的安全,要记得赶紧报警哦......你不让我过好年,你就在里面过年哦~~~
 
22.网上新闻:《山木总裁因强奸门而辞职》
跟帖:“谁这么畜牲,连门都强奸!”
 
网上一条娱乐新闻:《佟大为妻子生下一女婴》
跟帖:“佟大是谁啊?这么厉害!”
 
23。老婆的胸罩脏了,让老公去洗。老公正好刚洗完脚,就随口说道:“用洗脚水洗行不行?”老婆撇了老公一眼,说:“随便,反正我又不舔!”
 
24。老妈问我:你对花的了解如何?我说:怎么了?老妈说:泷泽萝拉是什么花?为什么网上好多人求种子?
 
25。村里一个女子,结婚好久都没有怀孕,老公就问了“我们结婚这么久怎么还没有小孩呀!那个女子说了一句话差点把老公气死,“我和我姐夫都有的怎么和你就没有呀!”

26。话说有日,某police在巡视时经过某巷子忽然听得一对话。甲:“这个要如何处理?”乙:“我们先把她杀了,再奸了她”这时这位police先生二话不说拔起了枪夺门而入,只见两个男人站在厨房手抓着一条鱼。
 
27。前几天单位吃饭,一小年轻同事要了一瓶大雪碧,给大家倒了一圈,轮到自己的时候瓶子空了。于是该同事晃着雪碧瓶对服务员说:“这个还有吗?”服务员屁颠屁颠地跑过来,接过瓶子仔仔细细地检查了一遍,一脸诚恳地说:“没有了。
 
28。我把棉裤那么一脱,春姑娘就轻盈地来了~

29,一个女人她可以喜欢你,但她不爱你;她可以爱你,但她不嫁你;她可以嫁你,但她不生育;她可以生育,但孩子不是你的……

30, 昨天烧纸,旁边一50多岁的大妈边烧边说:“收到后全买基金吧……”
 
31。高中时班主任常教导我说:“美女多如过江之鲫,你现在只需好好织网!”考上清华后我想拿猴皮筋弹他家玻璃……
婚姻的最佳状态是六个一:一夫一妻,一儿一女,一生一世。

32. 小明:你说一个月打三次胎会不会有事?小强:你女朋友?小明:不是,是我的自行车。

33. 希望手里的钱都彼此相爱、结婚,然后生好多好多小孩。

34. 争吵得很厉害时,妻子提出建议:我有两个方案可以结束这场争吵,一是,要么
我们都承认是我对了。
丈夫:另一个呢?
妻子:要么我们都承认是你错了。

35. 人生如梦,我总失眠;人生如戏,我总穿帮;人生如歌,我总跑调;人生如战场,
我总走火。

36. 妻子:你说,我长得漂亮吗?
丈夫:那还用说,当然比谁都漂亮!
妻子:可当初我们结婚的时候,我妈只收了几百块钱的彩礼你说这说明什么?
丈夫:说明物美价廉呀!

37. 美国航天员和中国航天员在太空相遇。
美国航天员:中国太伟大了,我一眼就看见你们的长城了..."
中国航天员瞄了一眼说:那是堵车...”

38. 女:你那么喜欢我, 说说我的优点吧。
男:这个嘛……爱一个人是不需要理由的。
女:那我有啥缺点?
男:懒笨馋凶矮胖圆……

39. 同学说:你下午去对取款机唱歌吧。
我:为什么啊?
同学:这样取款机就吐了。。。

40. 一哥们儿大一经常翘课。今天计算机课他去了,老师看到他来了,很惊讶地说:某
某啊,好久不见啊,上次见你还穿短袖,今天就穿羽绒服了。

41. 老师:我都不知道怎么批评你好,你的脸皮简直就像是皇上他娘!
小强:我……我没听明白!
老师:太后(厚)呀!

42. 有一财主向别人吹嘘他一把蒲扇摇了三十年还如新买的一样。
别人不信,问他你怎样使用的?
财主说:我用手拿着蒲扇不动,头在蒲扇前摇动。

43. 一商家到某小区搞促销,为期六天。
第一天的广告标语是清仓大处理
第二天:忍痛割爱
第三天:疯狂大减价,心在流血!
第四天:疯狂大减价,倒计时还有三天”……
第五天:最后的奉献……向小区居民挥泪告别!
第六天:感谢热情的小区居民请我们留下,还有最后六天!

44. 房租到期,哥们不想续约,找房东退房。房东来检查,发现窗帘上有三个洞,于是
要求一个洞赔50元。问:确定一个洞50元吗?房东点点头。只见这二货拿起烟头
把窗帘上的三个小洞烫成了一个大洞,然后给房东50元,说:能省一百就省一百吧。

45. 理科的强大在于你抄了答案也看不懂,文科的强大在于你看了答案就不想抄了。

46. 坐出租车,上海出租司机从浦西到浦东一路小嘴不停,他说:美国最不愿打的国家
就是朝鲜,因为太穷了,一个导弹好几百万美元,炸哪里都收不回成本。

47. 某日,一村民跟村长聊天,说;村长,他们都说你不识数,是真的吗?村长急
了,伸出三个指头,说了句送你五个字,一派胡言

48. 冬天晚上从学校外面的网吧出来,因为结了冰,不小心脚一滑,在即将摔倒的时候
,我拉住了一个经过的男生并且惊叫了一声:妈呀!结果那男生结结巴巴的说了一
句:你,你,你认错人了。就匆匆走了....

48. 两苍蝇畅谈中奖后的理想。
蝇甲:如果中了500w,我一定在一大厕所旁修一座别墅,吃S时,再也不要飞来飞去的
了。
蝇乙:如果我中了500w,我一定包下方圆10公里的厕所,饿死你丫!
蝇甲:哼哼,那我就包养一个活人,天天吃新鲜的,羡慕死你!

49. 一天,一对情侣突然吵起架来了。
女:思想有多远,你就给老娘滚多远。
男:那么,按照你的思想,老子就应该原地不动。

50. 某村开会讨论改革殡葬节约土地资源,村民们各抒己见。 甲说:我建议啊!都不
用棺材了,省钱又省地。
乙说:我看竖着埋可以更省地方。
丙磕了磕烟枪,慢悠悠的说:我看啊,竖着来只埋下半截,连墓碑也省了,一看就知道
谁死了!

51. 中午老板视察自己的建筑工地时发现有个人在角落看漫画书。
老板问:“你一个月的工资多少钱?”
那人答:“一千。
老板掏出钱包数出1000元给他并大声吼道:“你这个月的工资,马上离开!”
那人高高兴兴地走后,余怒未消的老板问旁边工人:“他是哪个部门的?”
工人小声答道:“他是来送快餐的。

52. 妈妈:叫你送外婆,你送了没?
女儿:送了。
妈妈:那为什么外婆摔倒了?
女儿:目送的。

53. 小学时上课爱睡觉,一次语文课老师布置作业写一篇作文,题目是假如我是蜘蛛".
下课了问了同学,晚上在家绞尽脑汁的写了一篇轰动全校的假如我是只猪

54. 老板刚问我:这星期六你能来上班吗?
我:行啊,没问题,不过你也知道周末公交这么差,估计得晚到一点儿。
老板:嗯,那你说什么时候能来?
我:周一。

55. 老师:为什么泰弋尔的名字后面写着18611941
学生:那是泰弋尔的手机号码。
老师:那中间的线呢?
学生:他不想透露全部个人信息!

56. 石阶问佛像:我们都是石头,凭什么你受人膜拜我却遭人践踏?
佛像嗤笑道:你只挨了四刀就成了石阶,我却挨了千刀万剐才有现今模样。想成功就
要经历磨难啊!
过了几天,石阶带了个同伴又找到佛像:这是我表亲,砧板,你也给他说道说道。
佛像:“……”

57. 徒儿,你看那棉花糖,形虽有异,却归同本,彼此轮转,相灭相生。你从中悟到
了什么?
师傅,弟子悟到了禅意(馋意)。
很好,为师也是如此,你去给为师买两个吧!

58. “
为什么一个男人,不吸烟、不喝酒、不赌、不嫖、不花心、孝顺父母、有上
进心、成熟稳重、大方得体、长相身高OK、谦虚、够搞笑、有爱心的男人直到26岁还找
不到女朋友?。。。。。。。
答:没钱!

59. 在我的结婚纪念日上,丈夫送给我一个漂亮的金戒指,并柔情地说:因为两个字
,令我给你买了这份礼物。
我甜蜜地说:这两个字是爱情吗?
丈夫说:不,是降价

60. 一个老人刚到老人院,走去和别人搭讪你的头发挺漂亮嘛,哪里剪的?
那老人脱下假发,怒道你才是捡的,我买的!我买的!

61. 路上遇见多年未见的班花,她问我最近都忙啥?我如实的回答:这两天很忙,昨
天给中石化下了个单,今天签订了与联通的合约,明天还要去谈一个与联通、苹果三方
合作的方案。班花边听边送了几个秋波,突然媳妇从后面给了我一脚,吼到:“加个
油、装个宽带、买个手机你得瑟啥!

62. 小明数学不好被父母转学到一间教会学校。半年后数学成绩全A
妈妈问:是修女教得好?是教材好?是祷告?...”
都不是,小明说,进学校的第一天,我看见一个人被钉死在加号上面,我就知道
...
他们是玩真的。。。

63. 一个同事抱怨说:干IT这行太苦了,想换行怎么办?
另一同事答:敲一下回车

64. 考试如此多焦,引无数考生尽通宵。惜秦皇汉武,胆子太小,唐宗宋祖,不得不抄
。一代天骄,成吉思汗,最后只把白卷交。俱往矣,数风流人物,全部重考。

65. 女:人一老话就多。
男:照这么说,你从来没年轻过!
 
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